This is a long vid, so grab a 6-pack and watch, be entertained and then apply it to your own online marketing efforts. Be sure to read all the text below too as I give you a perfect example near the end…
So how does this relate to internet marketing and online biz? Well, if I don’t like the way your website “serves” me as a customer, I certainly can’t go off and make a scene… but I can get to that “back button” and go find another site that will serve my needs!
Thoughts?…
Wait… keep reading for a perfect example of what I am talking about in relation to websites. Magic Hat #9 beer is great, their web presence is douche-baggedly-annoying!
Beer served up in this vid: Magic Hat #9
Seriously, their website sucks ass! A perfect example of shit that frustrates me to no end! Look Magic Hat Beer people, I wanna learn about what makes your brew so damn good; like drinking a bowl of flowers… but I don’t want to navigate your gay-ass pseudo-flash bullshit graphics. I am a beer drinker, not a kid playing a video game! Here is the Magic Hat Blog that IS pretty decent. Done!
Heeeeeeee. (Well, I’m nehvah selling you anything, Bubba! LOL!)
You are absolutely right. If I can’t figure out a sales page quickly, I’m outta there. One thing people do is offer too many choices and options.
Funny… we were just having some customer service moments here today! (Arg!!!!!!!)
Jl Palm–you hit the nail on the head… too many choices on the sales page makes “that guy” go into a rage! LOL
Yeah, marketers are really preventing a sale that would otherwise have been their’s.
I hope you are not going to start charging to watch these videos because I might have to pay. This is too damn funny.
DUDE! Meth and Beers don’t go good together, believe me!
I laughed my ass off!
Allyn, I am that gal! Dang, those are moments to be proud of. I have a favorite saying, “Be like a robot and keep repeating ‘That is not acceptable to me.’” Say it until the salesperson calls the manager. Once you have the manager, it is time for “Be like a robot and keep repeating, “Don’t place me in the middle of your management issues. That is not my problem”‘ when the managers try to pass the buck back to the poor schmuck salesperson. Case in point, my Eurail pass refund. I bought the pass from a local travel agent, went to Europe, found off-season specials were cheaper than the Eurail pass, knew I could get a refund, never used the pass. Fast forward six weeks, I am back in the local travel agent office asking for my refund. I am being told I will have to wait three MONTHS for the refund. “Three months! No, I am not going to wait THREE MONTHS for a refund. You took my money in one day, I did not make YOU wait three months for my money. You are going to write a check to me right now for the full amount.” Salesperson replies, “You didn’t read the fine print on the back. Refunds can take up to three months.” (shouting)”WELL THIS REFUND IS ONLY GOING TO TAKE THREE MINUTES. GET OUT THE CHECKBOOK!”
The manager swiftly arrives and explains that all refund policies are told to the customer at the time of purchase. (still shouting) “DON’T PUT ME IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR MANAGEMENT PROBLEMS. I BOUGHT THIS TICKET FROM THIS LADY AND THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I HAVE HEARD OF WAITING THREE MONTHS. I AM ONE CUSTOMER WHO WAS NOT TOLD.”
I walked out of there with a check for the full refund. We were chiseled out of the same rock, my friend.
Without a doubt Allyn – your videos are second to none. I always feel sorry for the poor schmuck who’s video I randomly watch after your’s – because I’m like falling asleep watching it wondering how a guy could be so boring.
I’ve had sales issues in the past – and I learned from this and from Dianne too. I’m usually that guy that just says “give me my money back, I’ll go elsewhere” and that’s what happens.
Hey Al I’ve worked in retail before, and I never put up with that crap. There is nothing funnier than the look on that guys face when he demands a manager, and you reply I already said I’m not going to help you so I’m sure as hell not going to get you a manager. Also that guy usually tries to pull his crap when there is a big line, so when you tell him you are through and move on to the next customer the other people in line are more than happy to bypass that guy, when when you say, next in line. The irony is I never got in trouble for standing up to these folks, even though I already decided that preserving my dignity and standing up to that guy would be worth losing a job. Nice post though, you must have run across some desperate clerks and managers.
@ everyone… thanks for all your comments. This post is really fun for me because we are seeing the different personalities coming out and I believe that each of your unique personalities is what makes you good marketers! But one stood out and that was Emma… so here is a special video comment for her! LOL
video follows…
That was really funny! I was never that guy but have been evolving a bit more to that side. Big corporations make you pay their bills and they do it because everyone else lets them! Making money is not easy so don’t let it slip through your fingers!
Ok, I should have waited one more video before making the “Best Of Allyn Hane”. I crapped myself (sorry) laughing at 7:33 into the video. My Mother-in-Law is THAT Women just like Diane above. My wife once bought a toy for my son. It was a piece of crap. She took it back and it was no refund, only exchange. She started screaming to the top of her lungs that the store was a ripoff. All the registers were right beside customer service and it was Christmas season. She started screaming to everyone at the registers not to buy anything because you can’t get your money back. They immediately gave her a refund and told her to have a nice day.
Locally, all I have to do now is hand some ass-hat my card and tell them I get thousands of local viewers on my local community website. If you don’t make me a happy customer, I’m going to do an opinion piece on your store and accompany it with video and I’m going to do it so many times that Google will replace your site with mine on the searches and I will create a special youtube channel devoted to your crappy store. Now, would you like to give me my refund or do you want me to go get my camera?
Hey, Al, that was when I was young. I work for myself now. But I really did have that exact conversation with a guy. The look on his face was priceless. You rock too, and I appreciate the video response. Keep doing what you do.
hahaha.
All you guys rock!
Al, you are a piece of work. I love your videos but mostly I love your attitude.
dude 39.95 for Polos and Nauticas on sale? Why not just wait a month and go to Marshalls or some similar outlet store and get’em for 10-15 bucks lol.
Never heard of Magic Hat Beer – I am sure they have it at the ABC liquor store – probably in the 10 buck a 6 pack section….has a catchy name though that may persuade me into getting a sixxer though – and yes their website sucks ass.
Al, that video is great – it’s amazing how much power the customer can have if he/she chooses to exercise it.
Also, I’m glad to see you indulging with Magic Hat – #9 is absolutely one of my favorites. I’m really into pale ales and IPAs. You should also try their hefeweizen called “Circus Boy”. Even though these were available to me at the liquor store at home, the first time I had them was at Bonnaroo festival in Tennessee – it was love at first sip, lol.
Enjoyed this post thoroughly. I’m usually the guy who pretends to only have $50 when he has the price tag’s $80 just to see how good a deal I can get. I have to say that in this economy, I’ve even been surprised sometimes. Great videos, great encouragement, and keep it up! Every time I see a new video it’s the highlight of my hour of slacking before going back to freelancing, creating content, and building links.
Cheers!
Shane “Master” Dayton (because if Ph.D’s are doctors, shouldn’t MFAs be Masters?)
This was a funny video. But if you had came to my Store with that bullshit i would have you escorted Mafia Style.
but still a great post
Hey Al,
Thanks was really funny and entertaining. It was rather long, but worth hearing the whole story. Keep up the good work, and I hope you enjoyed the vacation.
Ala
You’re right about the Magic Hat website. Ironic that you have to tell them you’re over 21 so you can look at a website that appeals to 15-yr-olds.
Thanks for another great vid.
THAT WOMAN had to raise her voice (slightly) at the grocery store tonight. I make a mean Pad Thai and always use fresh cilantro. Well, to put it not so nicely, all the cilantro at the store was half rotting – it should not even have been out on the aisle. But it was, and there was no produce person within miles to look for a fresh bunch or mark the crappy bunches down to a fair price. I put the least crappy bunch in a plastic bag, and headed for the check out. I asked the cashier to please authorize some kind of discount for the distressed cilantro. She called for Marston. Over comes Marston from Customer Service. He looks familiar. Hmmmm….memories of THAT WOMAN encounters come flooding back to me in a split second and I push them away, to return to the mission at hand. My goal is to get a fair price for the rotting cilantro. I ask for the markdown and Marston replies, “I am not the produce manager, I am from Customer Service, and I cannot mark any produce down, as it is not my department. The produce manager is the only one who can do that, and he has gone home for the day.” And Marston smiled. My BULLSHIT detector sounded its silent alarm and THAT WOMAN’s robot woke up and sprang into action. “This is YOUR store, isn’t it?” I asked Marston. “Only the produce manager can change the prices of the produce. I cannot do it,” came Marston’s reply and he pasted his customer service smile to his face. The BULLSHIT detector sounded a second silent alarm, this one louder than the previous one. THAT WOMAN quickly formulated her response. “I hear your line and I see your smile. Your produce manager should not have left this store without removing or marking down this stinking, rotting cilantro. You are in charge of customer service! (THAT WOMAN’s voice is a little louder now) IS THIS WHAT YOU CALL CUSTOMER SERVICE?” We are now at the ‘heads are turning’ portion of our encounter. Marston takes the cilantro and begins to walk away with the words, “Let me see what I can do.” Within five minutes Marston returns from who-knows-where and politely creates a 50% discount for the cilantro on the register. I thank him and he returns to the safety of his customer service counter. All the way home in the car I replay the scene in my mind and smile. Justice is served. Another consumer has retained her rights to real customer service.
Now THAT is a good story! Diane, you are quite the dramatic and detailed writer! love it!
AL
Allyn you don’t know how badly I wished I was already video blogging because I was SO READY to jump in front of the the digital camera I don’t have yet to post this story on the blog I have not created yet.
[...] actually become an individual a free thinker, as my buddy Allyn would say when do you become “That Guy” or [...]